The Assange Duel

So, Julian Assange. Old news you say. Well my news cycle is much longer than CNN's. Just ask your grandmother.

I confronted Mr. Leakey Boy about him ripping off my name idea. I was at a club with a selection of my divergent personalities discussing a planned website that would give proper adulatory recognition to squealers around the world and suggested calling it 'Cock Leaks.' Julian was at the next table trying to convince the manager of the club that the stage show would greatly benefit from the inclusion of a donkey. He must have overheard my idea since shortly after he launched 'Wikkileaks.'

Subsequently I made him aware that all he does is take other people's hard earned and hard risked insights and information and claims the glory for them. As expected he was highly offended by me telling the truth and challenged me to a duel.

Since only troglodytes still remember duel etiquette I should enlighten those of you who have short memories or are to young for such things. When a duel is challenged it is the prerogative of the one challenged to dictate the terms of the duel. This is intended to keep things fair.

So in keeping with proper etiquette I naturally stated cock fighting as the method of settling our dispute.

I will give him credit for showing up at the appointed time and place. As I incredulously told him to put his rooster away his confidence began to wane. When I clipped the flail to my Prince Albert he realized how woefully unprepared he was.

Now, being an eternally undead barnyard fowl has it's advantages. I get a lot of spam email and I have the time to research all of it. It you want to know which of the penis enlargement programs actually work you just need to register in my Karmo-Narcotics workshop and I will reveal all.


I proceded to tallywhack Leaky Boy into thorough submission. Though I did not come out unscathed myself. I found his level of enjoyment quite perturbing and that is really saying something from the dude who left the Dark Boatman whimpering in the shadows while I jacked his ride.