The Return Of Zombie Cock

I'm back. Did you miss me? Probably not, but that is only because you likely have no ability to recognize what's good for you.

I have returned, awakened from my preternatural slumber by a sense that there are profound absurditudes being let loose on this mere mortal plane, and I'm not the one setting them loose. Thus like a bad case of herpes, I may have been gone for a while, but I always come back.

And like an invasive species of black mold, I shall infiltrate every corner of public discourse to give you a fair and balanced perspective.

Something about a lion getting capped, and everyone losing their minds was what did it for me. I was so content, lost in meditation on the fundamental interconnectedness of all things, and doing serious research into karmo-narcotics, when one of my divergent personalities invaded my contemplation with news that old man Robert Mugabe wanted the rich dude that capped the lion brought back to his country to face his justice. More than anything, I have time on my hands, and I have been watching old man Mugabe for a while now. I assumed it was a cover to get human flesh on the table for his next banquet considering the most he had last time was a baby elephant. But then I hear that thousands of citizens seem to agree with him. Granted this is the first time citizens of any country have agreed with him on anything, which in and of itself is deserving of study.

To make things short, which they normally aren't with me, I simply couldn't let this pass, and I awoke to find everything else has gone to hell also. Considering that Lucifer still hasn't returned my calls about gentrifying Hades, I am at a loss to understand why anyone would want to go there, and am further troubled because I'm not getting any revenue from it considering my development projects still haven't been executed.

Thus, I have come to assume my position at the "As Narrated By John Cleese Chair Of Postmodern Studies" and will bestow upon you my long and wise council that you may rise from the ashes of your pretardation to append some level of clarity. Although you will have to enroll in my Karmo-Narcotics program if you really want to find enlightenment.