Long have we labored under a heavy yoke of oppression. With rent prices so high and alcohol so expensive. And so I do not judge you for your life of urban nomadism, for in the manner which I judge, so too shall I be judged for being a preternatural undead being with a trendy blog. I guess I do have it well. But lift your selves out of sorrow. Find the way for yourselves. Be a light unto yourselves. And pass me a light if you could be so kind (Lights up a massive blunt and breathes rightious tokage onto the gathering masses).
I say rejoice for the anarchy is at hand. Follow me to the streets and embrace all that the Raider Nation has shown us. The sun is shinning. The pot plants are in bud. It is a grand time to turn cars over and set sh!t on fire!
You once were lost but now are found. For I do not hold your crack habit, your persistent fecal stains, your fragmented personality or your past escapades with raccoons against you. Instead I call you to become something more. I call you to greatness. I call you to join me in a holy Jihad against all that sucks. We will reclaim in this city all that is truly insane. Be my fedayeen. We shall be the Mujahideen against mindless materialism, and Frat Row. We shall take back the streets as our sacred can harvesting grounds and plunder the construction site at Boalt Hall for all the copper piping and scrap metal those bitches are hoarding. Bring your shopping carts in tow and light your joints. We will commit chemical warfare against the streets and sweep down like barbarians from the hills! I only warn you against freeing the monkeys at the animal facility. It will be unleashing a force your can not comprehend.
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COMMENT IR I WILL EAT YOUR HEAD OFF